How to Handle Rejection

And how to bounce back from it

Rejection is an unpleasant yet inevitable occurrence. We encounter it in all walks of life, not just when dating, and most people would rate it as being the factor that features highest on their dread scale whether it comes from family, friends or even work colleagues. Different people have different reactions to rejection; some will completely fall apart whereas others appear relatively unscathed. One thing is true, rejection hurts us all no matter how we deal with it outwardly.

From a psychological perspective we humans are so anxious to avoid rejection because most of us, even those who appear to be super-confident, all have an inner fear that we are inherently not good enough. Being rejected by another person simply validates this feeling and knocks our self-esteem in such a way that we actually feel real pain. The longer you have been dating the person who rejects you, the worse it will feel.

Unfortunately, rejection is something that we all will have to deal with at one point or another; it simply cannot be avoided unless you live the isolated life of a hermit. Considering this, the best thing that we can do to protect ourselves from its brutal sting is to develop a coping strategy. Here we have come up with a four-step plan to help you take rejection on the chin and emerge as a stronger, more resilient person.

1. Try, try, try not to take it personally

Rejection is a multi-factorial process, not just dependent on yourself. In a relationship, whether brief or longstanding, one partner usually rejects the other due to many things; their own perceptions regarding the relationship and what they can offer, where they happen to be in their life at that moment and even their own past experiences. So no matter how much you tell yourself it was all your fault, it is unlikely that it actually was. Even the smartest, funniest, sexiest people get rejected at some stage in their lives so stop feeling sorry for yourself and remember the world doesn’t totally revolve around you!

2. Accept that it will hurt

When you acknowledge that your feelings of misery over being rejected are entirely normal, it actually becomes easier to live with them. You are not being over-sensitive or weak to feel upset, it is a totally human way to respond to an unfavourable event. Remember, things that hurt also heal so give yourself as much time as you need to recover.

3. Be kind to yourself

As well as not beating yourself up about why you were unwanted by a boyfriend or girlfriend, it is important not to put any additional pressure upon yourself during this difficult time. Instead surround yourself with caring friends or family and take the time to indulge in things that you enjoy.

4. Let it go and move on

It is crucial not to dwell on the fact that you have been rejected. By all means talk about it to friends and get it out of your system but then get back out there and get dating again. There is no better way to repair your damaged self esteem than by looking your best, having a great time and meeting interesting people. Don’t let your fear hold you back.